Annapolis for Idiots

[mopar92]

Norton has a great "How to Testify" thread. So here's the also ran.

Brush yo teef (or toof)
Deodorant WEAR IT.
Cologne and perfume wear IN MODERATION
Foods that make you fart AVOID THEM (not applicable if in a meeting with Martin O'Malley or Vinnie DeMarco in which case soiling yourself is an approved and recommended tactic)
Knives and guns LEAVE THEM AT HOME OR IN THE CAR
Bill speak 281 is a different bill every year. It is appropriately called
"The Freedom Suppression Act of 2013"
Conspiracy theories Unless you still have the shovel, the check or other damning evidence STFU
Carpooling: Kidnap a hobo if you have to (jk..........kinda. Most jump into cars when offered a sammich) we need people in Annapolis.
Book bags: use em keep em on you. Throw your jacket in there if you get to hot.
KEEP THEM WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES LEST THEY SHUT DOWN A HEARING ROOM (Ask me how I know)
Jackets: throw your keys, coins, all metal objects in and toss em on the conveyor belt.
Voter ID: have it with you and flash it in their faces.
Snacks and drinks: have them with you and easy access.
Clothing: business casual can also hide a set of thermal underwear so you don't freeze.
Friends: Bring em buy em lunch.
Family: Tell them you're going to Disney World.
Small bills and coins: Bring em preferably coins as the snack machines might not have enough to give out change.
Talking points: Be prepared.
Modern Sporting Rifles are the best option bar none for home/self defense.
Concealed Carry equals less crime
Handouts are handy
Camo: it's warm and if used properly can be effective. Guy in old Army surplus camo? Whack job from Agent Orange. Guy in Cabelas Ducks Unlimited? Concerned sportsman who is interested in protecting our rights.
Shoes: comfy and warm same goes for socks.
Reporters: If you're pissed don't talk to them. If it's your first time don't talk to them just say no comment and announce their presence to the crowd someone will step up.

More as I think of them.

 

[Rack&Roll]

nose hair. you forgot nose hair

 

[Alphabrew]

Where is Norton's thread?

 

[Ungermc]

If you can fake a facial twitch, that's always good for attention...lol

 

[ShafTed]

Where is Norton's thread?

From last year's session:

http://www.mdshooters.com/showthread.php?t=103308

 

[Biggfoot44]

What Mopar said. Also :

Never refer to a Bill is stupid , idiotic , or a Commie Plot. Even if it is.

Never refer to a Lawmaker as stupid , brain dead , F'ing idiot , whore , or subversive Socialist. Even if they are.

Acceptable to refer to things as misguided , poorly written , unintended consequences , etc

So far is focusing on testamony at Hearings. That's important , but not the only activity .

Walk the halls , drop in at your Representives's offices. Drop in on Committee members. After a Bill should leave Committee , everyone is fair game.

If you have a sidekick in Annapolis with you , pair up to visit offices , but more than three can be counterproductive.

Know several of the Bill numbers , and be able to say two or three sentences why each is good/ bad/ needs tuning .

Ask for the Member. Probably won't be there or available , but sometimes random luck comes thru. If not , then ask for Chief of Staff. A senior staffer will often be available for a much longer conversation , and will have the ear of the member. Even in worst case , the unpaid intern will take your name , what issue you were there about , and if you were for/ against.

And anytime you communicate in anyway , with anyone , use your proper name , just like it apears on your voter registration. The other side likes to bandy about that 50% of pro-2A people weren't registered voters. Like many others , I'm not buying it. I think much is if Mr William Frank Smith signed emails , or introduced themselves as : Bill Smith , Billy, Frank , Frankie , or (various nicknames ) Smith.

Having opinions about many of the issues of the day is a good thing. But for maximum impact on each one use a seperate email/ conversation for each.

 

[Mr H]

Also, it's important to remember that just because something is written into a bill, does not make it law!

This is why we have a hearings and amendments process, to expr4ss our opinions, and so have our legislators submit changes on behalf of their constituents.

The two things I see most in this regard...

One, that people seem to think their reps are their "Lords", and what is, is. Have a say, and make your opinions known, even if you're in favor of something. It may still need tweaks, and how will anyone know if no one says anything?

Two, that people still believe that items in the original text of a bill (particularly FSA13) are law as it stands today. This is often not the case, as bills are amended constantly throughout the process. Sometimes, the final result is nothing like the original bill that was filed.

Stay up on the process, read a lot, and be involved.

 

[eruby]

....

Snacks and drinks: have them with you and easy access.

Small bills and coins: Bring em preferably coins as the snack machines might not have enough to give out change
....

There's a nice little cafeteria/canteen in the basement of the Senate building.

 

[Engine4]

Norton has a great "How to Testify" thread. So here's the also ran.
...
More as I think of them.

You forgot the tactical beard.

 

[Mr H]

You forgot the tactical beard.

Mopar IS a tactical beard.

He told me hisself... It's Kevlar.

But... I hear he's been known to lie about such things........

 

[Bolts Rock]

Mopar IS a tactical beard.

He told me hisself... It's Kevlar.

But... I hear he's been known to lie about such things........

Are you implying Mopar is Lou's...........nevermind.........

One a more serious note:

If you're really pissed because they just changed a vote and a reporter button holes you, do not cuss. Repeat after me, "I can't say that on TV."

If you're really pissed they just changed a vote do NOT make a verbal outburst, that can get you arrested. What cannot get you arrested because it is protected speech and is not a verbal outburst is flipping them off over your shoulder as you stalk out of the room. So sayeth Chief Wilson of DGS and the MSP Sgt. that Dumais insisted arrest me. So also said the US Supreme Court back in the 1970's when VP Rockefeller flipped someone off.

If you're really pissed because they just changed a vote and you go outside with SNI who has more smoke coming out of her ears than her cigarette to cool off and have a smoke to calm down and O'Malley jogs up trying to act all cool and covert do your best to convince SNI it isn't him or you might have to bail her out for chewing off his face and explain to her hubby why she had to be bailed out.

Yes, those really happened last year and we're STILL not sure if Mopar farted or soiled himself at Vinnie but the entire room knew at some point that a sewer had backed up in the building.

Make friends with the DGS guys and the plainclothes MSP guys, they WILL remember you did that and talk to you/cut you a little slack.

If you're big hulking sasquatch kinda guy be mellow, otherwise the pencilnecks and little old ladies might wet themselves when you visit their offices or corner them in the hall. This usually only occurs if the pencilneck or little old lady has a D after their name.

Be nice and polite to the antis, it pisses them off and throws off their game. Even better hold the door for one or two and when they act snotty the DGS and MSP guys DO notice who was the polite person in the exchange.

Clean up your trash, I cannot stress that enough. It gets us brownie points with DGS, MSP and the janitors.

If you have a forum beef with someone and you run into each other, be adults and be cool.

 

[MJD438]

There's a nice little cafeteria/canteen in the basement of the Senate building.

Little advice on this one:

• Basement of the James building (the one to the left as you enter Senate Security) (hearings are normally in the Miller building, which is to the right as you enter Senate Security).
• Stops serving made to order food at 2PM.
• Closes completely at 2:30PM.
• Can be accessed from the House and Legislative Services Buildings without going outside of the security perimeter via the service tunnels (basement level in LGS, LG level in Lowe House Office Building).
• You will run into legislators, staffers, lobbyists, and other members of the public, so keep your guard up and your smiles active.

 

[DavidMS]

Two tips.

I always wear a coat and tie at a minimum. I want them to concentrate on what am saying, not what I am wearing.

As for journalists, I always offer to discuss off the record or on background. None of them has taken me up on the offer.

 

[mopar92]

If going to Annapolis and you happen to meet someone for the first time.

Don't sit near them when they're bored your shoes get used as a coloring book.
Don't rely on the same persons copy of the bill schedule as it ends up looking like a coloring book.
Don't testify where they can kick you in the shins under the table.
Apparently you're also supposed to "play nice" with politicians not treat them like chew toys .

 

[Jacqueline]

If going to Annapolis and you happen to meet someone for the first time.

Don't sit near them when they're bored your shoes get used as a coloring book.
Don't rely on the same persons copy of the bill schedule as it ends up looking like a coloring book.
Don't testify where they can kick you in the shins under the table.
Apparently you're also supposed to "play nice" with politicians not treat them like chew toys .

Sometimes life is better when you add a little color, especially to a bill schedule that makes soooo mad you would rather burn it.

Adding a little color is almost as relaxing as a bon fire, and it wont set off any fire alarms.

And yes... kicking someone under the table when they are testifying
(and starting to go into 'chew toy' mode) can be an effective/non verbal communication tool to further our 2A goals.

 

[eruby]

There are computers and printers in both the House and Senate buildings where you can access the MD Legislative website and print out bills and other stuff from that sight. Very helpfull.

No porn though.

 

[mopar92]

Sometimes life is better when you add a little color, especially to a bill schedule that makes soooo mad you would rather burn it.

Adding a little color is almost as relaxing as a bon fire, and it wont set off any fire alarms.

And yes... kicking someone under the table when they are testifying
(and starting to go into 'chew toy' mode) can be an effective/non verbal communication tool to further our 2A goals.

I'm just saying next time I'm bringing shin guards and Tylenol.

 

[BradMacc82]

Do NOT let lou45 go unattended by potted plants, those plants do not need that type of 'watering'.

 

[Hopalong]

Bring a spare battery for your phone, a charger, or multiple devices. Your batteries WILL die.

This is why I opt for the two-pronged phone/iPad approach.

 

[MJD438]

Bring a spare battery for your phone, a charger, or multiple devices. Your batteries WILL die.

This is why I opt for the two-pronged phone/iPad approach.

I usually keep a 3-outlet, 6-12' extension cord in my backpack, along with the chargers for my devices. That, along with getting into the hearing room early to get a spot along the back wall near an outlet, usually helps to keep the batteries up to snuff.