Not really, that is a fallacy, except when comparing centerfire to rimfire .22. It is not the size of the bullet initially but the size after penetration that matters most. With current state of the art hollow points the bullet from a 9mm expands to a greater diameter than either a .40 or a .45 at their normal velocities firing the same kind of bullet (.68" with the 9mm and about .60 for the other 2). This is solely because the 9mm has greater velocity and therefore "works" the HP bullet design better. If the .40/.45 had higher velocity this would not be true. So from that you can rightly assume a 10mm would do even better than a 9mm and you would be correct for that bullet design. However I can't see anyone wanting to shoot a .45 230g HP round at 1200 FPS. Be like shooting a compact 44 Mag. Bullet design has more impact on lethality than the size of the bullet in almost every parameter.
Even in ball ammo the lethality of a .45 was only a little more than a 9mm in most cases. Before the advent of decent HP rounds the #1 most lethal round as studied by actual shooting for single shot incapacitations was the Winchester .41 Mag 175g Silvertip HP round. And this only showed up because many departments got issued S&W Mdl 58s for awhile. After that time it was surpassed as the most lethal by the Indiana State Police .357 mag 125g HP at 1325 FPS (the round the .357 Sig was designed to try and equal).
The point is the right tool for the right job. Even a .380 or a .32 HP round is better than a .22 under all conditions as long as the bullet can be placed in the right area.
Certainly faster bullets carry more energy. I Should have added that to the quoted post. I pointed that out earlier in the thread. In the end, it all comes down to energy transfer. Hollow points have been a revolution. Aerodynamic in flight, then flattens out. An aerodynamic projectile is designed to create less shock waves, in a way. That flattened surface of the hollow point once it mushroomed does it's job well. As you point out, there are many trade-offs. Bullet weight, velocity, capacity, portability, recoil etc.