I'd go with the 9MM....mostly because you will probably be able to hit what you are aiming at CONSISTENTLY. I practice and carry a S&W PRO Shield, and it is a superb weapon. Just my 2 cents.
We are in Bridgeville, DE.....nice small community. Over 55 development called Heritage Shores. Many of my neighbors are shooters and DE CCP holders. With that said, aqree with your comments on Wilmington.