Jewish humor for my buddy Eruby

Allium · Jun 1, 2018

I'm from New England - Moms folks from VT. dads folks came from Quebec around 1900.

Boondock Saint · Jun 1, 2018

Alright, I'll ask: JAP?

I could look it up, but that's ridiculous.

Kinetic · Jun 1, 2018

Jewish American Princess.

Squaregrouper · Jun 1, 2018

Boondock Saint said:
Alright, I'll ask: JAP?

I could look it up, that's ridiculous.

Jewish American Princess

Boondock Saint · Jun 1, 2018

Thanks, folks. :thumbsup:

rbird7282 · Jun 1, 2018

Bob A said:
Back to the point, how can you tell if a JAP has an orgasm?

She drops her nail file.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

NYRangers917 · Jun 1, 2018

What happens when a jew with an erection walks into a wall?

He breaks his nose....

august1410 · Jun 1, 2018

I'm not so sure eruby is a Jew. He's giving away silver.

Alea Jacta Est · Jun 1, 2018

august1410 said:
I'm not so sure eruby is a Jew. He's giving away silver.

....and he loves him some BACON!!!

MaxVO2 · Jun 1, 2018

Zzzzz_man said:
Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner approve this thread.

*****This guy lights the Menorrah too!

John from MD · Jun 1, 2018

Allium said:
Sort of funny how the wheel turns. Back in the 50's and 60's you had the catskills or borscht belt. The family summer camps and adult camps where many of the great comedians worked. So many of teh greats were/are jewish - Mel Brooks, henny youngman, Rickles, marx (groucho not karl), Benny, Bruce, Burns, Wilder, Rivers, red buttons, danny Kaye. And if you listen to the old recordings and LPs they made fun of themselves, life - their lives. Very sterotypical. No one took offense even with the wounds of the holocaust still raw.

So take a lesson from the masters. Hell my family is french canadian going back 350+ years - I still cant find a decent joke about them!

My parents used to go to many of those shows which I have been told were X rated. Oi vey

Mr H · Jun 1, 2018

Biggfoot44 said:
Plenty of French Canadian jokes , but they don't travel well . Very common in northern New England , buy other regions of the US don't get them.

**************

Meanwhile, MDS is different from most online communities by the degree to which we gather , and know each other in real life .

Eruby ( the Roastee of this thread ) is a particularly well known in real life great guy , and most of the posters in this thread know him personally, and his sense of humor , and he is no doubt laughing his @ss off .

Added - All that said , perhaps this fits better in the WC than Central Maryland .

The Ole and Lena jokes in Minnesota are pretty good, too.

Cochise · Jun 1, 2018

as a well armed and not very good Jew - no feelings hurt
some of the better ones I will use

TargetGrade · Jun 1, 2018

august1410 said:
I'm not so sure eruby is a Jew. He's giving away silver.

He was the banker at the pig roast, shorted me on change owed. He's kosher alright.

Mr H · Jun 1, 2018

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell the wife?" They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door.

The wife answers and asks what he wants.

Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."

The wife says, "Tell him to drop dead!"

"I'll go tell him," says Goldberg.

Mr H · Jun 1, 2018

Considering who started this thread, I was surprised not to see this one...

While examining the body of Mr. Goldberg, a mortician notices that Goldberg has the largest penis he has ever seen.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Goldberg," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" she screams, "Goldberg is dead!"

John from MD · Jun 1, 2018

Mr H said:
Considering who started this thread, I was surprised not to see this one...

rseymorejr · Jun 1, 2018

Mr Greenberg and Mr Goldberg both retired and moved to Miami Beach. One day they found themselves sitting next to each other on the beach. They began to talk and found they had a lot in common.

Greenberg told his new friend" I was born and lived my entire life in New York City, I had a very successful clothing store downtown. I worked like a dog for 40 years in that store. One night I had a terrible fire, burned the store to the ground so I collected the insurance money and retired to Miami Beach"

Goldberg said " That's amazing. I too was born and lived my entire life in New York City. I had a very successful furniture store downtown. I also worked like a dog for 40 years in that store! Until one night a terrible flood came up an washed away all my inventory and destroyed the building. I collected my insurance money and retired to Miami Beach!

Wow! Greenberg said, that is an amazing coincidence. Tell me one thing, though,

How in the hell do you start a flood??

BigCity · Jun 1, 2018

Mr H said:
Considering who started this thread, I was surprised not to see this one...

Damn straight Skippy.

jjbduke2004 · Jun 1, 2018

An oldie but goodie:
http://www.aish.com/j/j/51477162.html
(saved me the trouble of typing it in)

Jewish humor for my buddy Eruby

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